An Old Diary …
As I sat to write I remember nothing, think nothing and I just feel the silence of the night, It never scares me, the silence that is.. It always indulges my thoughts, it always purifies my soul, my tired little soul which is always trying to adjust to the wayward ways of life, battling the crowd and the noise. I feel lost in the crowd, Words feel like bullets and people make me feel alone.
I have no answers for questions, I just move on with life, when someone asks me why I am the way I am, I just smile, Why? Does anyone find the answer for this? No. When the sun rises tomorrow I will wake up to the bright light falling into my lap, I get ready, I take a mask and wear it on my face, the mask of intelligence, the mask of confidence and the mask of smile and the cheerful me walks into the world, I blink for a moment at the brightness, and then I am a part of it all.
But tonight, its just me and my thoughts, I am not lonely, I am just alone, no masks and no fear, no artificial smiles and I feel relieved, in the darkness the memories cover me up, and I just look into the sky, looking a the twinkling sky filled with stars a small smile comes on to my face, memories…..
Old diaries, they have so much hidden in them, so many feelings and emotions just lying there, in the form of words, and some, in the form of blank pages’ 🙂
I walk back into my room, closing the doors behind me, covering the drapes, I no longer can see the sky, neither can I feel the silence….. i close my old diary, its almost falling apart, I safely put it in back in to the shelf, hidden behind a pile of books, its just a memory.